Normal? I'm Completely Normal!
by GRAzieOo
Summary: You know, if you had to see your family tortured and killed in front of you, wouldn't that make you a deranged psycho and kill every single living thing that is in a 5 mile radius? I am not a deranged teenage girl, I am perfectly normal. So what if I'm a part of the assassination squad, Varia? Okay, maybe I'm not really normal with companions like them...
1. Chapter 1

**Grace: So, yeah. This story has an OC...um...yeah...**

**Squalo: VOOOOIIII! Is that all you have to say?!**

**Grace: Should I be saying something else?**

**Mammon: Mou~ the disclaimer!**

**Grace: The wha-**

**Squalo: I don't have time for this. VOOOOOIIII! LUSSURIA, THE DISCLAIMER!**

**Lussuria: My pleasure, Squ-chan!**

**Bel: Ushishishishishi! The peasant shark's name is Squ-chan?**

**Squalo: VOIII- *gets hit on the head by a wine glass! courtesy of Xanxus***

**Xanxus: I'LL SAY THE FUCKING DISCLAIMER IF ALL OF YOU TRASHES WOULD SHUT THE HELL UP!**

**All: Yes, boss...**

**Xanxus: The trash writing this doesn't own KHR...**

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**SUMMARY:** You know, if you had to see your family tortured and killed in front of you, wouldn't that make you a deranged psycho and kill every single living thing that is in a 5 mile radius? I am not a deranged teenage girl, I am perfectly normal. So what if I'm a part of the assassination squad, Varia? Okay, maybe I'm not really normal with companions like them...

**RATING: **T, courtesy of Xanxus, Squalo, Gokudera and the mafia...

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You know, I hate a lot of things about my parents. They nag me, they ground me, they prevent me from eating sweets and most of all they force me to go to a place where all bad things happen to children.

The place where your imagination is killed once you passed the gates, the place where they fill your heads with so-called knowledge about life, but what frustrated the girl even more was the fact that in life, we learn not to live, but how to die in this world filled with evil things that might kill you if you take a wrong turn.

This place is what all children call the hellhole, in other words, school.

The only thing that could even compare with her hatred in school was her hatred in alarm clocks and cold tacos.

Why she hates cold tacos? Well, it's pretty simple actually. When the taco is cold, it no longer holds the true meaning of life which is warmth and happiness with every bite you take. In shorter words, that are less philosophical. Once it's cold, she can't taste the flavor anymore.

Why she hates alarm clocks? Well, alarm clocks are actually cops that arrest her and drag her to prison because she's doing drugs. What's the drug you ask? I think it's pretty simple, it's sleep.

Sleep - drug

Bed and pillows - drug dealer

Alarm Clock - the fucking cops

Yeah, and they also tell her to get the fuck up since you have school at seven, but this time she hated the alarm clock even though it didn't tell her that school was coming instead, she hated it because it's the reason why she's on the ground floor of their house sprawled and groaning in pain.

But deep down inside a very, very, very, very tiny compartment in her conscience told her that it was her fault since she's such an idiotic imbecile.

Don't look at her like that! She has pride, people! PRIDE!

How she fell from her bedroom on the second floor? Well, it's classified information.

I'm just gonna give you some hints; her alarm clock started ringing like the freaking apocalypse of zombies was coming, she fell off her bed with her blanket, she tried to open the door which magically opened and than she realized during the last minute that her bedroom was actually near the staircase, she tripped on her blanket causing her to fall down the stairs with her blanket mummifying her as if she was a dead pharaoh, by the time she was on the floor she sighed in relief because nothing around her was broken.

Well, except for maybe the 206 bones in her body and maybe she did bust her spleen.

"Mooooommmmm, I fell off my bed again!" She yelled out, she heard some rustling in the kitchen and a few seconds later her mom was standing in front of her shaking her head as she helped her daughter untangle herself from her blanket as if this was a normal occurrence. Well, it was a normal occurrence in the Shizanuko residence.

The girl I'm talking about is none other than the youngest daughter of the Shizanuko's, her name is Shizanuko Ahri. She's 9 years old. Yeah, she does curse. People, please do not find this weird because these days now, even second graders curse.

"R-chan, will you please stop cursing and talking in third person?" Her mother asked more like demanded her, she looked at her mother weirdly after she finally understood what her mother meant, she face palmed.

"I was voicing out my thoughts again, wasn't I?" Ahri asked her, she just nodded. Ahri couldn't help but make a mental note to herself.

Note # 27

Keep your thoughts to yourself and don't voice it out aloud.

Before she could ask her mother what date it was, her mother pulled her up and hugged her. This earned a surprised yelp from the younger girl.

"Happy birthday, R-chan!"

Wait, today was her birthday? Which means one thing...NO MORE SCHOOL! Oh, yeah! Her birthday was dated on the first day of summer vacation which was the third of August.

"No more school! Yes!" She exclaimed as she bounced up and down and ran around the house flailing her arms around as if she was a deranged psycho in black PJs and pink bunny slippers.

If you thought that they celebrated her birthday like a normal family would. Then, you're wrong, the best day ever for the 10 year old was cut short during the afternoon when she and her parents were just seated in the kitchen sharing jokes and cakes.

It was cut short when their front door was kicked open by a group of people who she never knew. Her parents were shocked as well because they told her that they didn't know who these people were.

Three men walked in the kitchen with their guns raised as they pointed the dangerous things towards her parents and then next thing she knew, she heard a gun being shot and her parents were suddenly on the ground, bleeding.

Two men walked over to her parents and checked their pulse, he looked up at their boss. How she knew it was the boss? Well, it wasn't because of the wrist band that definitely said Boss of the Occhio family.

Eye? She thought, how she knew what Occhio meant shocked her a bit, but then she remembered that she took lessons for different languages before. She tried to struggle and kick the man who her her, but he was stronger than her. Obviously.

"Boss, the man's dead, but the woman isn't..." One of the men said. Well, that stopped her struggling. Her eyes widened as the men took out a knife and decapitated her mother, she tried to scream at them to stop, but when they didn't. She tried to look away, but the boss made her watch them as they decapitated her mother's head.

Tears streamed down her face as the men stood up and looked at their boss for further instructions.

"The ninth will be here soon, get rid of his granddaughter for me will you?" The boss said as he pushed Ahri towards the men.

He walked away leaving her with the men who smiled evilly at her, one of them saw her glance at her parents and choke back a sob.

"Well, say goodbye to your parents. They're already ahead of you, but if you catch up with them. Say hello to them from the Occhio family, little girl." He said as he pushed her towards her parents.

She knelt down beside her dad, she saw his hand twitch and she looked at him. He opened up his eye a little bit. She looked behind her and saw that the men were talking amongst themselves, she returned her attention towards her father.

"Otousan..." She whispered, her father managed a small smile, but flinched at the pain of his abdomen.

"R..run...a...awa...away...my...litt...little...girl...don't...let...them...k..ill...y..you..." Her father muttered before his eyes shut, never to open again.

She only remembered a bit, but it was still hazy. She remembered grabbing two knives from the table and while the men were still talking she creeped over and beheaded one, the two tried to grab their guns, but all she saw was red. Slash. Stab. Stab. Rip. Were the only things she heard and screams as she ran them through with the knives, more men arrived and tried to shoot her, but she was a bit faster than them.

More red.

She ran to the living room where she saw the boss sitting there with an evil grin on his face as he stood up and strolled over to her.

"My, my. You managed to kill my top subordinates with your little knives, too bad I can't recruit little girls. Now, follow your parents footsteps, dear..." He said and when he said that she felt someone disarm her and hold her in her place, but as she struggled the man shot her. The bullet pierced her stomach and she let a high-pitched scream.

"Kat, start the car. It seems that the ninth is coming..." He said, the one who was holding Ahri dropped her and she saw the face of the one that stopped her from killing the man.

A girl, with a butterfly tattoo on the side of her face. She heard a car start and speed off, she yelled out for help, but it was futile. Nobody would come to help her. Nobo-

Before she finished that thought, she heard a loud 'VOI!' and the last thing she saw was an old man that was surrounded with strange looking people.

Time Skip...

Ahri's eyes fluttered open and she sat up, she let out a yelp as she felt a piercing pain from her abdomen. Moments later the door burst open and people ran in, she recognized two: the old man and a person with a green mohawk that was standing with the old man before she lost consciousness.

"Where...where am I?" She asked them, the old man looked at her with sympathy before saying, "You are in the Varia headquarters..."

"Varia?" She asked once again. This time the mohawk guy was the one that answered, "Oh, it's an assassination group! We came when we heard that one of the families that were opposing the Vongola gave a message that they were going to kill Hanako Shizanuko, she's an adopted daughter of the ninth!"

This guy is obviously gay. Was the thought that ran inside Ahri's head, but that's before she the words finally made their way into her brain.

"W..wait, a...assassination group?! Are you going to kill me?!" She exclaimed as she tried to scoot away only to feel the pain again, "Owwie..."

"My dear granddaughter, they could've killed you already if that was the point..." The old man said, that's when Ahri looked at him.

'This guy looks awfully familiar. Wait, is that really my gramps?!' She thought to herself as she blurted out, "Uncle?"

"Yes, it's been a long time Ahri..."

"Ah, is she really your granddaughter? She's so adorable!" The gay man said.

Before any more words could be said, a loud 'VOI!' was heard and the next thing she knew, the door burst open to see a guy with short white hair.

"VOOOOIIII, LUSSURIA! THE BOSS IS HOLDING A MEETING!" The man yelled, almost breaking Ahri's eardrums.

"Squ-chan, the little girl is the ninth's granddaughter! Isn't she adorable?" Lussuria said as he skipped over to Squ-chan.

"IT'S SQUALO YOU GAY BASTARD! Wait, so does that mean she's Xanxus' niece?" Squalo asked.

"Uh-huh!"

"The girl could fight well, just needs more practice and better weapons..." Squalo muttered as he looked at Ahri up and down before walking out while dragging Lussuria with him.

"They're weird..." Ahri muttered under her breath. Her grandpa chuckled in amusement before saying, "Oh, really? They're going to be your new family, y'know"

"Oh, okay. Wait...WHAT?!"

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**Grace: First chapter! **

**Bel: The prince isn't mentioned?! (Readies knives) USHISHISHISHI! **

**Grace: (gulps) Bel, you would debut on the second chapter...**

**Bel: Ushishishi, I better be...**

**Bel: Review and favorite, peasants!**

**Grace: What he said, but without the peasant part...please?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Lussuria: Grace-chan does not own KHR!**

**Levi: Oi, I was supposed to do the disclaimer!**

**Bel: (throws knives at Levi) Shut up, pervert. Nobody likes you!**

**Levi: (sulks)**

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No One's POV

After a few weeks, days, hours, seconds and milliseconds passed. Ahri was finally up and good to go, this would be great news for anybody who had been shot, but to her. It's just more trouble. You see during her tenth birthday some deranged and psychotic people walked in her house uninvited.

Blah, blah, blah. Her parents got killed, she killed many men and she's probably a wanted criminal right now, she met her grandfather who she thought would take her in.

Instead, he gave her away to a group of mentally insane, sadist, stupid, perverted and loud people.

Oh, did I mention? They're a part of the mafia and her grandfather's the freaking boss of the largest and most dangerous group, the Vongola.

What's worse is that, Ahri was going to live with the Varia, the top assassination team of the Vongola. Yay, she feels so excited to actually meet her new family that's deranged!

Her stupid grandfather told her to wait at the infirmary for Lussuria, the mother of the Varia. No, he is not female people, he's an effin' guy! Who's gay! Oh, how could her day get any worse?

She totally jinxed it.

She was just seated in the bed waiting for the gay to arrive when the door to the infirmary got kicked open, literally. She looked at the poor door that is laying on the floor, dead. She looked up and saw the murderer of the innocent door, the loudest member of the Varia, Superbi Squalo or Squ-chan in Lussuria's case.

"Voi, brat! Lussuria had to go on a mission, I'm the one who's going to have to give you the tour around the mansion!" He yelled.

"This is a mansion?" Ahri asked.

Cue face palm.

"What did you think it was?!" Squalo screamed once again. Ahri covered her ears and by the time Squalo finished screeching like a girl, she took them off.

"I thought this place was a castle..."

"Many trashes mistake the Varia mansion as a castle cause it looks like one when you're outside.." Squalo said. Yeah, he said. Not screamed.

"So, basically it's a castle!" Ahri exclaimed as she clasped her hands together and a dreamy face was seen on her face.

Squalo walked over to her and smacked her head, "Owie!"

"It does not look like the ones you see in fairy tales, brat." Squalo muttered under his breath. Ahri pouted and said something under her breath.

Squalo's eye twitched, he looked down and glared at the girl. "VOOOIII, WHAT WAS THAT YOU BRAT?!"

"Nothing almighty, awesome, amazing, fantastic, beautiful-" Squalo cut her off, "Whatever. Do you want me to give you the tour or not?!"

"Please do!"

Squalo turned around and proceeded to walk outside the infirmary with Ahri trailing behind him. When they passed by the door, Ahri muttered a few words. Something that sounded a lot like, 'Rest in peace, door. You fought a great battle'

"This is the hallways and those doors lead you to different rooms! You got that?! My tour is finished!" The old guy yelled. WHHHHAAAATTTTT?! He has white hair! Who wouldn't think he's old?

That was one interesting tour. I learned a lot, mister white head! These doors lead me to different rooms of this mansion/castle, what kind of idiot wouldn't know that?! What do you think I am? An idiot? 'Look, a wooden square thing! If I push it would it lead me to Narnia?! How about Neverland?!' Ahri thought to herself.

"VOOOOIIIII, WHAT WAS THAT YOU BRAT?! I'M A FREAKING ASSASSIN, NOT A TOUR GUIDE! IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE TOUR I GAVE YOU. FIND SOMEONE WHO'D GIVE YOU A TOUR!" The white haired idiot yelled as he swung his sword around. Ahri ducked a few times to avoid being grated cheese. Where did that come from? Oh, wait. I don't know.

"Whatever you say, old man." I muttered under my breath. Too bad, the guy heard me. Which is quite a shocker since his screams and yells could make anybody deaf.

"VOOOIIII, I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE XANXUS' NIECE! YOU'RE GOING TO BE GRATED CHEESE!"

'Because everybody would like to be grated cheese...' Ahri thought as she ducked Squalo's swings, this continued on until a loud bang was heard.

"Oi, shark scum! Where's my food? And where's that gay scum? He's supposed to make me food!" A scary man yelled out as he walked towards the still raging Squalo.

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE YOUR FUCKING FOOD IS, SHITTY BOSS! PLUS, YOU SENT LUSSURIA TO A FUCKING MISSION!" Squalo yelled out.

Squalo turned his attention back to the girl that was supposed to be in front of him, but she was nowhere to be found.

"OMG, stranger! You saved me from the old man that almost turned me deaf!" Squalo heard the annoying voice once again, he turned around only to see Ahri clinging to Xanxus' leg for her life.

'As much as that brat annoyed me. I feel somewhat sorry for her, she could only end up as a pile of ash after Xanxus shoots her...' Squalo couldn't help but think, but to his surprise and somewhat horror, Xanxus stooped down and picked up the girl, "Who are you, trash?"

"Uh, I'm Ahri and I was trying to escape from the old man who was supposed to give me a tour, but ended up wanting to kill me because I complained that he couldn't give a proper tour. Oh, I also called him an old man because he had white hair." Ahri said as she pointed at the old man a.k.a Squalo.

Oh, how much Squalo wanted to rip this brat's head off, but his boss was still holding her. Squalo muttered a few curse that must be censored since they are too much for our audience.

"You know, stranger. You look scary with that scowl on your face. How could you get any girls with that face?" Squalo couldn't help, but feel even more sorry for the girl because she just insulted.

But Xanxus did something that no one in the Varia would've have thought he would do. An action that was never seen from him, an action that almost made Squalo punch him on the face and demand where the real Xanxus is.

Xanxus smiled.

Yes, the Xanxus of the Varia. One of the most feared people in the world of mafia just smiled at the little girl in front of him, "So, you insulted the shark trash, huh? Plus, this scowl is on my place for a reason and that is to scare the living shits out of them fucking trashes."

"I'm ten years old. Why are you cursing?"

"Even second graders cuss, don't be surprised if you hear him curse a lot. That's all he does" Squalo muttered under his breath, but too bad, so sad for him, Xanxus has radar ears or Squalo just had a hard time trying to mutter because a wine glass was thrown at the poor shark.

Where the boss of Varia got that? No one will ever know.

"So, you're my niece huh?" Xanxus asked the snickering Ahri who was currently entertained by Squalo's face.

"Ushishishishi, did the prince hear that right? The boss has a niece? Ushishishi, the boss is old!" Someone said. Ahri turned her attention to where the voice came from and saw a blonde haired kid whose bangs were covering his eyes and a Cheshire grin plastered on his face, he was also holding some weird knives and by the looks of him, he was about 14.

"Prince trash, do you want to be hit on the head by a fucking wine glass?" Seeing the blonde shake his head made Xanxus smirk and turn his attention back to his niece who was only eight years younger than him.

"Probably. I have no idea."

"Hanako's kid, huh? Scum, the name's Xanxus and you can't call me uncle because these fucking idiots are here." Xanxus said as he jabbed his thumb towards the direction of an arguing Bel and Squalo.

"So, what do I call you?"

"Boss. I am your boss, the ninth said you'd be perfect as my cloud guardian, but that old man has many problems. So, fuck his commands. You're only going to stay here, but you aren't going to go around killing other shitty trashes like those scums over there"

"Cool. I don't want to be shitty like them."

That made Xanxus laugh so hard that Squalo and Belphegor stopped arguing and looked at their now, crazy boss who was laughing his ass off.

"Boss! The ninth is calling!" A man who looked like a pervert came out of nowhere.

Xanxus stopped laughing and grunted, he turned towards the perverted old man and jabbed his thumb towards his now only and favorite niece since she insulted his trashy guardians, "Give my niece a a good tour since that shark scum can't give a fucking tour"

"Yes, boss!"

With that Xanxus stalked back to his office and slammed the door shut.

"So, you're the boss's niece?" Perverted old man questioned.

"Yeah, and you're the perverted old man?"

"USHISHISHISHISHISHISHISHI!"

"VOOOIIII, YOU CAN'T GO AROUND INSULTING THE MEMBERS YOU FUCKING BRAT!"

"I wouldn't be if you actually gave me a decent tour around this place."

"THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LUSSURIA'S JOB! BY THE WAY, WHERE IS THAT FUCKING GAY BASTARD?! ALL HE NEEDED TO DO WAS SHOP FOR BEEF!"

"Mou~! Don't go around insulting beef, Squalo. They are insanely expensive..." A squeaky voice said from nowhere. Ahri looked up only to see a cloaked baby sitting on her head.

"Okay, so I live with a loud old man, a psychotic fake-prince that's wearing a tiara, a gay bastard, a floating baby, a perverted old man and my uncle's a bipolar freak. Yay, this is going to be fun!"

At a grocery shop somewhere...

"Achoo! Is somebody bad mouthing me? Or is the boss hungry? Omo, the boss! Now, what kind of beef do I buy? The one from Australia, the one from France or the one from..." Lussuria trailed off.

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**Squalo: Well, that was one shitty chapter...**

**Grace: Omo, you're not yelling!**

**Squalo: VOOOIIII, IGNORE THE IDIOT BRAT! REVIEW, FOLLOW AND FAVORITE OR ELSE I'LL STAB YOU WITH MY SWORD!**

**Grace: Stop being mean to my readers!**


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